it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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