im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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