Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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