white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
