is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
