I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So much Jack, so little girl.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
