mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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