Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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