After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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