what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
