Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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