talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
