i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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