I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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