you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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