How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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