i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
