New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
