Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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