bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
