When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
