Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
