He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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