please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
