I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
