Can i not drive my cunt home
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I need water and some morals
Randomize
