is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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