Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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