I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
