doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
