You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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