I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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