a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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