Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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