Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're a waste of cheezeits
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want to make out with him forever
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
