White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
