So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
