She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
