You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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