I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
