Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
