So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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