There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
