I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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