are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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