i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
