I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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