You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
