I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
