Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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