her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
