one two three fourrrrnication!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
