i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
