We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
