two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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