If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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